That is where I am. The universe has said “Stop”. There is nothing moving for me at this time. Clients have stopped coming. Students have stopped signing up for classes. My book partner is steadfastly refusing to work on the book which we are so close to finishing. I spoke with a teacher of mine about being in her internet marketing mentor program. She asked me some questions and then told me to think about it for the next month! Hmmm.
I am very frustrated. However, I do know that we can get clues as to what our next action should be by what is happening around us.
Did you ever here the story by Carolyn Myss where she talks about someone being pissed off because they where stopped by the train or traffic jam etc. We have appointments that we are scheduled to keep. If you where not stopped by the train, you might miss an important chance meeting.
I have a hunch that I need to really slow down right now. I don’t know why or for what. I left nursing last fall and I was taking this time to do things I have not been able to accomplish.
There are classes on marketing I have wanted to take. In fact I signed up to take the virtual book tour class in December thinking that we would have our book ready this spring. It is not going to happen.
Also, I need to spend time working on my healing program. I have updates to my basic manual and I have to start on the advance modules. I am ready to go here… giddy up, giddy up!
So, I am confused. Also, I am feeling that this is my time. It is what I have been waiting for.
Even when we are confused, we do know a great deal deep down. I tend to be very ADD, my focus is everywhere. I get these great ideas and off I go.
Perhaps I am spreading my self too thin. I decided to do a Native American Tarot (Madga Weck Gonzales or Star-Spider Woman and J A Gonzales or Rattling Bear) reading for myself last night.
I did a standard 10 card spread.
Card #1: was the Hermit: trail blazer, lives in 2 cultures (for me consensual reality and higher spirituality), warns to deliberate well before proceeding. Slowdown is beneficial at this time. Time for planing. Lesson, learn to deal with power and self. Must have good sense of self worth.
Card #2 crosses card and is the immediate influence/obstacles just ahead: Eight/Smoke Signals (pipes). Here is about having the self confidence of exploring new territories and related new responsibilities. Where there is smoke there is Fire. Energies may be scattered. Look for messages and hunches. (Watch the ADD, get focused and work on self confidence. Hmmm!)
Card #3: Goal or destiny (what can be): One/blades. This one is a pipe as well as a blade and can be used either way. There are 3 stages for the sacred pipe: purification, expansion, and identity. The bowl of the pipe = Holy Grail (mandela, medicine wheel, Druidic cauldron, solar plexus which is the central chamber or our own inner temple). Wisdom requires “hands on” work. Use the blade to clear a path. cut the ties that bind or what I don’t need.
Card #4: Distant past (behind me): 0/Fool. The Fool is an element of anarchy or chaos. It is divine madness=redemption. It is the beginning of the journey.
Card #5: Recent past events: One/Shields. Time of fresh ideas, energy and promise/fortune. Financial risk odds are in your favor. Need honesty and must over come fears about change and chaos and take a chance on God, inner truth. I left my nursing job as a hospice nurse last fall. I am taking a chance on me.
Card #6: Future influence (near future): 14/Weaver. This card represents alchemy and temperance. There are 4 lessons one must learn: Justice, Fortitude (strength), Prudence, and Temperance. Alchemy is the mixing or turn water into wine. It is an internal process of self adjustment. We all have the power to weave our own present and future. The pattern is set with every decision but can be changed. Each strand is added to your personal tapestry. I am seeing that I am in a tempering and alchemical crucible. That means I am in the work of “becoming”. Oh, goody!
Card #7: The Questioner’s Attitude: Matriarch of Pipes. This person is adaptable. Women are not normally in a place of power in Native American tribes but they are in a place of reverence. They have persistent energy (which I have), calm authority, kind and generous but impatient to opposition. This person receives great insights, visionary and can listen to her own music. However, can brood, jump to wrong conclusions. Also the intelligence can help finding enlightenment or intuition or it can hinder it. So I should be persistent, use my visioning and intuition but don’t brood (get depressed) or jump to conclusions. Just see what unwinds.
Card #8 Environmental factors effecting now: 21/The World. This is a trump card, fulfillment, money or the prize. One with Spirit. The mystic coming out party. When the initiation is complete, the prize is the world (not to keep but to tend). This is the big kahuna.
Card #9: Inner Emotions of the questioner: Chief of Vessels. Chief is subtle, crafty, artist and very secret. Calm on the exterior hides intense passion. They use external influence to further own ends. Can not work in a harness. The facade hide vulnerable, emotional parts. Avoid hypocrisy. No harness but I do need to develop my own discipline.
Card #10: Final result: Three/The Craftsman. The ability to merge imagination with reality to make something beautiful. Brings material prosperity and family pride. Quality on quantity. What I make will be beautiful and I will receive the benefits.
So I asked if there was one more thing the deck wanted to tell me. I drew this card.
Card #11: one more thought: Four/Silence. Connecting with the Great Mystery in Silence, receive peace. When the external world shuts you out, you are in the realm of silence. I must center, focus inward, going within and listen for answers. The message will come from God, Great Mystery, The Oneness!
So the Universe says stop! Now what do I do?
I just have to get over myself and just go with it. New experience. 🙂
Blessings,
Mary Pat
Mary Pat FitzGibbons RN MS is an international healer and teacher.