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Getting Fired or Laid Off:10 Tips to Survive Being Fired or Laid Off

Have you been laid off or fired? Is your future freed up? Is your head spinning? Are you feeling like you have been hit by a Mac truck? Loss of a job will rock you to your core. Read on. Here are steps that can help you navigate and survive this time of change do to job loss.

People loose their jobs for many reasons. Some reasons include down sizing, new CEO may bring in a new management team, or lack of work. Sometimes the lay off is through no fault of your own. Sometimes the employee sabotages their work life by not getting along with co-workers, lying, poor grooming, unreliable, used work for personal business, couldn’t do the work, or abused alcohol or drugs and they get fired.

When the ax comes, there will be a bunch of emotions that will overwhelm you. And there are activities that you will need to do to survive and flourish.

The emotions include denial “this isn’t happening”, feelings of overwhelm, fear, anxiety, anger, sadness, and depression. You will have to deal with the emotional rollercoaster. If you need help get it. Eventually you will get to acceptance and experience new growth and opportunity.

1) First, realize that you will have all of these feelings or emotions. Most of us will not experience these in a particular order. You may go from anger, to fear, to depression, to being OK, and then back to anger. Be present to each stage. Get a good friend to listen to you, be your sounding board. Or you can journal your feelings until you get a handle on them. If the emotions become too overwhelming, get professional help. After the first week, stop the “poor me” stories. Staying in the story makes it very difficult for people to be around you. It is what is. We have to work, so put on your boots and start looking.

2) If you qualify for unemployment… go and sign up. You have paid into the system and you will pay into it again. It is a financial stop gap between jobs.

3) Take stock of where you are financially. You may need to redo your budget so that you can live, eat and pay your bills. It might be a back to basics budge, but remember it is temporary. If you eat two meals daily at fast food restaurants, you should consider eating at home and packing your lunch. It is less expensive and healthier.

4) Review what happened, why did you lose your job. Be honest. If you have contributed to your new state of freedom, admit it. What can you do to fix your attitude or behavior(s) so that you get and keep the next job? If you need help in this area, get it.

5) Finding the new job takes focused effort. If you can get outplacement service, do it. You can Google “how to find a great job”. The internet is rich in resources from ‘how to’, resumes, job postings what to wear to an interview and how to interview, and follow up. Plan on spending 7-8 hours a day in job search activities. Watching TV, doing lots of chores, hanging out at the coffee house or pub, will not get you closer to getting that new job. Finding a job is like going to work.

6) Network. Network. Network. Call your family, friends, acquaintances and your Christmas card list. Let them know your situation and that you are looking. If they give you a lead, follow up. Start a little newsletter. It is a great way to keep everybody posted on your comings, goings and progress. It is a fabulous networking tool.

7) Keep good records. Have a calendar. Show up on time, neatly dressed, with your resume and references neatly presented. Keep a log of your resumes/applications that you have sent out, interviews, expenses and the results. This will keep you on track and you can have timely follow up.

8) “No.” Yep, you may get turned down. In fact, you may get many “no suitable opening” letters. So what. Shake it off and go on to the next opportunity. There is a job out there that is a good match for you. Keep looking.

9) Which brings me to my next point. Keep a positive attitude. It is the one thing you can do to help land that next job ASAP. It is the Law of Attraction. You won’t get that dream job by being depressed, and angry. People who are happy, upbeat, positive, capable, and dressed appropriately are much more likely to get the offers.

10) You Got The Offer! Yippee! Suit up and show up. Be a good employee. Be excellent at what you do.

Losing a job is very stressful. It will rock you to your core. It is something that most of us will go though, at least once in our careers. Are you having trouble with your emotions? Is the stress of job loss getting in the way of finding a new job? I invite you to visit www.healthworkshealing.com if you are having trouble with the stress of being fired or laid-off.

From Mary Pat FitzGibbons, RN MS

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Getting Fired or Laid Off, what to say to your friend who has been laid off.

Last fall (2007) there was a CEO succession at the company where my husband and I work. In November, my husband, who was in upper management, was the first to be laid off. In a nanosecond not only does your work network crumble, but so does your social network. This is a small town. When this happened nobody would talk to us. I can’t tell you the number of our friends that wouldn’t, couldn’t or didn’t know how talk to us. They would avoid us, by looking at their shoes and walk away. May be it was fear? Will they be next? I don’t know what shunning is excactly, but loss of all our social contacts was rather devistating on top of the job loss. So, what do you say or do for your co-worker and friend who has been fired or laid off?

Whenever there is a change in management, employees become afraid. Your job feels very insecure, you may become defensive, protecting your position. With a change in management, there usually is some form of change coming down the pike. When a company brings on a new CEO, it may well mean changes in top management. Jack Welch became president of GE (General Electric) when GE was in trouble. He was known by the nickname “Neutron Jack” because many folks lost their jobs. However, he turned the company around to be a viable in today’s world, thereby saving and creating jobs. That scenario happens every day in companies all over the county. But what do you say or do for your co-worker who has been laid off.

1) When you see your friend, say “Hi, I am sorry to hear about your job.” Loosing a job isn’t leprosy, it’s not contagious. Just say “Hi!” The friendship and support is needed and much appreciated. Just keep in contact.
2) Do activities with your friend. Go to lunch or dinner with them, play golf or cards or go to a show. You don’t have to fix the situation, just be a friend.
3) Listen, your friend will need to sort things out and make plans for the future. It is easier and nicer to have a friend walk the path with you.
4) Encourage your friend through the process of the job search. It can be very lonely and frustrating to look for a new position. It is very important to be positive during this time. You are much more likely to land a new job with positive upbeat attitude. Call your friend, frequently to see how he/she is doing and how the process is going.
5) Depending upon the circumstances, the friend may have to move. Stay in contact with your friend during the process. If there are ways to help, do so if you are able. Having your friend over for a simple dinner is a wonderful gesture.
6) There will be a whole host of emotions that everyone will go through during this process. You don’t have to get stuck in “life sucks” conversations. Simply recognizing the emotions of anger, disappointment, sadness, and grief may be all that you need to do. Then you can get on to what is right and good in the new opportunities that present.
7) Be a “Friend”. Be present and available to the extent you can. You never know when this person or another friend will need to be there for you. “Pay it forward”, if you will.

Getting fired or laid-off is not the worst thing in the world. Learn from the situation and grow. It is a doorway to new opportunities that await you.

I invite you to visit http://healthworksenergyhealing.com/ if you are having trouble with the stress of being fired or laid-off.

From Mary Pat FitzGibbons, RN MS

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Color Breathing: More Ten Minute Mood Lifters.

Have you every heard of Color Breathing? It isn’t very hard. Simply put, you take in a series of deep yoga or belly breaths. You imagine each of the following colors. You breathe in the color until you can see it, feel it and taste it. The colors are Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Sky Blue, Indigo, and Violet/White.

For instance, you take the color red. Luscious red. Tomato red or strawberry red or a velvet red.
See it clearly or smell it or taste it or feel it. Then imagine that you are breathing in this color. Let it fill you feet, legs, body, arms, and head. When you feel full of the color, you can release it. Do this exercise with each color.

We have an energy system (aura) that surrounds and penetrates the body. There are major 7 energy centers (or chakras) that bring in universal energy to nourish the body. Each chakra is a wheel or vortex of energy and it interfaces with the body with an endocrine gland and a major nerve plexus. The colors I gave above are the colors of chakras on the 2nd level of the aura. Each color has a vibration. When we are sick, depressed, stressed or otherwise out of balance, our Vibrational pattern is distorted, off, not balanced. Breathing in the colors is a simple way to rebalance our selves.

Would you like more information on the energy system, energy healing, depression, pain, stress release? Come see me at http://healthworksenergyhealing.com/ See you soon, Mary Pat

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Getting Fired or Laid Off And Taking Care of Yourself

Some interesting things have happened since my last blog note about my husband getting laid off. It is really an interesting thing to watch one self go through this situation. Some of my experiences included fog, confusion, irritability, shame, fear to name a few. It was pretty rocky for a couple of weeks. So how to you get through the inital shock of (you or) your spouse getting fired or laid off?

There is a technique call “The Witness, Asker and Experiencer” that is great for helping you through all kinds of life events and happenings. Most of us are experts at the “Experiencer” part. We go through one experience after another. If we are in therapy, we have the opportunity to analyze some of this stuff. But how do we learn from these experiences and grow. How do we find our way out of the far country after a shock. We need something else besides the experience. The other two parts of this are the “Witness” and “Asker”. Imagine an experience that you have gone through or are going through. Now imagine that there is a camera up in the corner of the “room” in which you are having the experience. It is recording the experience, frame by frame. There is no judgement, it is just experience. Imagine watching the experience through the lens of no judgement.

Here is an example. I walk into the kitchen at lunch time during the week. My husband is sitting at the table working a crossword puzzle. He often stops home to have lunch, no big deal. I say “Hi” and have some idle chit chat. He says that he had a meeting with the boss and he is no longer employed. The world starts to get foggy. I ask “what happened?” My head is swurling, I can’t think. Can’t breathe either. My heart sinks. He tells me why. It feels like it is rainning bricks as I begin to assimulate what this means. My world is falling apart. Now I have to go back to work and be the competent nurse that I am. Yeah, right. Well, I used my wittness to help me. I know from my personal work, that the “fog” is about fear, existential fear. This goes way back to childhood abuse. When you are foggy, you don’t think well and can make horrible choices. When I am foggy, I am not grounded. This is old stuff. Because I use my “witness” I have choice. If I didn’t have the “witness” I would be in reaction. What kind of reactions could I have? We could have been in a big fight. I could have called off from work. I could have been in an accident do to not paying attention. I could make a mistake that could harm a patient or cost the company lots of money.

This is where the “Asker” comes in to play. It is the curious “asker”. It is the part of me that get very curious about the situation that I am currently experiencing. It asks the questions that give me choice. It might say “Wow, what a drama!” This is a place where I can separate myself from the situation a little bit. It makes it more neutral. “Oh, I see the fog coming in, what is this about?” “Look at the husband who is feeling badly about a situation over which he had no control.” “How do you want to handle this?” “Do you think you are scared?” “Do you think you need to be careful this afternoon?” “What do you need to do to take care of yourself?” This situation could be the perfect excuse for going into a long depression, which I didn’t care to experience.

Some of my self care activities include the following. I started using Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower Remedy) in my water. It helps to protect you from a shock. It helps to stablize and balance the emotional system. I started taking St. John’s Wort to also stablize my mood. I have a ground meditation that I do. I used this to help me through the processing and intergrating all the abuse. In it, I create a sacred space for me to live, move and have my being. I can get lax in doing this meditation. I started it in full on a daily basis. It can take me about 20 minutes to do it fully. Also I am using essential oils. I put them on my body in a particular order and have a breath pattern I use to intergrate them through my aura or energy field. They are Valor (grounding) on the wrists. Harmony goes on the solar plexus. Joy is on the heart and White Angelica (protection) on my neck/head and feet. Good nutrition and sleep. It is the basics but it works. I have a few close friends who helped me process the intracacies of all of this. It took a couple of weeks to get through the thick of it all.

I know that I need to keep a level head and possitive attitude to help my husband and I get through this process. My husband has had a very good attitude. He started up a newsletter again. He has been through this before. New boss, new management team. He includes what happened, related jokes, his plan for finding new employement, and he asked the help of the folks he sent it too. My husband does a great job of networking. He keeps regular contact with people he new 30 years ago. In fact, he will be interviewing with the first lead he received from a friend from the 80’s. And we both live in different states from 20+ years ago. It comes in handy at a time like this. He has an outplacement firm that is helping him, howevery he is generating most of his own leads. He goes on to his professional web sites and responds to job postings. They all want the resume to be submitted on line. This has been an experience. I have had to help him cut and paste some of the resumes and the newsletter. I know a move is in store. I wasn’t what I had planned or hoped for. However, “it is what is.” I can make it miserable by and angry, depressed attitude or I can make the best of it. I choose the latter. Do I do this well all the time? Of course not. I have my moments. When I do. I bring in my “witness, asker and experiencer” to help me through the maze.

I use some ten minute mood lifters to help me. Music is great. I can sing a couple of songs and put myself in a new space. I take voice lessons, so I practice my vocial leases. I like pieces from Phantom or Messiah. I am working on a one woman show, so I work on those pieces. I flip through the radio stations to find music that fits my mood. It can be upliving. It can make me cry… Sometimes it is good to cry it out.

How about doing puzzels! Puzzels are great for several reasons. One, they create space between you and the difficult situation. Often our minds come up with the greatest answers when we are doing something else. I like sudoku. It challenges my mind to boot. As we get older we need these thing to keep us sharp.

If you want more information about Energy Healing click here. http://healthworksenergyhealing.com/ Take care of your self and see you next time. Mary Pat

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Getting Fired, Laid Off, How to help yourself.

Getting Fired or laid off, sucks, to coin a word. After such an event, you are swamped with an ocean of emotions. At the same time, there are things that you need to do to keep going and it is very difficult. Three weeks ago, my husband was given a pink slip invitation to a new chapter in our lives. I don’t know why. I am told that we have a new administration and he is bringing in his own team. We are new enough to this area, and I was hoping that my husband would be still considered “new blood” and part of the new team. Nope.

Some things had happened and I knew something was afoot. And yet, when the day came with the proclamation, I was still devastated. I was actually a recipient of being “fired” or permanently “laid off” about 10 years ago. Can you believe a nurse being laid off for lack of work? Yep. I worked for an independent medical equipment and IV (intravenous) company. We only had about 10% of the local market. The other player, the local hospital, had about 85% of the market. It was felt that we would never have more than 10%, so our department was closed. I knew that it was coming. My partner and I went out to lunch and reminisced about all the good times we had. After lunch….. “Would you step into my office please.” Even though I knew it was coming, I was devastated.

Both of these experiences where similar. First, I had that “sinking feeling” in my chest and gut. Then I became very confused and remained in that state for some time. Confusion could also be unfocused. This last time it manifested in the following ways. I seem to develop a medical condition called “CRS“. That is translated as “can’t remember s–t.” I would forget appointments or even where I put my calendar for that matter. I was forgetting procedures at home and at work. I tend to be ADD, and it has been much worse; starting 10 projects and forgetting that I did that. Man, is that frustrating.

Also I was experiencing a great deal of FEAR. Well, that’s not a surprise, when the bread winner is out of work. That sort of hits you low in the gut. “What are we going to do?” “Will he be able to find new work soon?” “How are we going to make it financially?” “What about the house?” “What about the 2 kids in college?” What about ______?” Fill in the blank. My part time salary will only go so far.

I was angry! Angry at the company and angry at the husband, angry at____? We moved here from the east coast several years ago for this position. I like it here. I love my house. I have the best house I have ever lived it. It is 110 year old, stone house with curved doors and arched transoms. We don’t have a big yard, but we have a very nice yard with many garden spots for meditating or reading or entertaining. I had hoped that we would be here until retirement, about 6-8 years from now. Change in plans!

This is a life changing event, no matter why it happens. We have a new chapter started. What it is going to look like, I have no idea. We can create a lovely new chapter, but I have to get my emotions under control. I say “we” can create, because it is a “we” project. You might think that we are at the whims of the business world. Maybe yes, maybe no. My husband and I are dreaming up the type of position that my husband would like and the house/community we would like to live in. The mind can not distinguish between something vividly imagined and reality. Did you know that most every successful business person, athlete, entertainer’s use positive pre-play. Why not. Oh, you don’t know what I mean. Well, here is an example. They took a high school basketball team, tested their free throws accuracy and divided them in half. One half practiced free throws for an hour. The other half practiced free throws in their mind for a half an hour and on the court for a half an hour. They did this for a season. At the end of the season, they tested both half’s for free throw accuracy. They where about the same. Then there was summer break. When fall came, the two groups where tested again. The interesting thing is, the group that practice free throws in their mind was much more accurate than the group that had physically, practiced the free throws. It was thought that during the summer break, the students who had done the mental practice, had continued to practice. The results show it. So we are vividly dreaming of the new opportunity.

Emotions. I have no control over my husband’s emotions. I do have control over mine. If I can take care of myself, it will help my husband to take care of himself. I practice “witnessing“. That means, there is a part of me that is in the experience and part of me is watching. I “watch” as if I where a camera in the corner of the room. I “watch” each event and each emotion as it occurs. I may be at work and then aware of say “grief” flooding me. I have learned that all emotions come and go, flow and ebb. I have also learned that I can experience the emotion without having to “do” anything. When I don’t fight the emotion, I can watch it build, flow then ebb away, just like a wave. also, I have very good friends with whom I can process some of my stuff. It helps me clarify the issues and emotions. If you are in the same situation and are experiencing difficulty, see a counselor. “FEAR” is an acronym for “false evidence appearing real”, or “face everything and recover” they both work. Fear is a warning that something is amiss. In this situation, I might feel that my security is totally controlled by the employer. The truth is, my “security” in within me. I have the stuff of survival within me. I may trade time for money with an employer. Make no mistake about it, I am responsible for my security. I don’t know what is down the road, but I know we will land on our feet.

The confusion is like a state of “shock”. It can whip you around if you are not careful. I have done these things to help myself during this time. First, I witness without judgement. I give myself a break. Then I am choosing to not engage in negative thinking. I don’t know about you, but I can create all sorts of “drama’s” in my mind. I don’t want more drama to happen. Every time I have a negative thought or drama start, I stop. I think about something else. I sing. I listen to uplifting tapes and CD’s. I know that I do not have the luxury to play in that sandbox. So I am choosing not too. I developed quite a headache. That was an invitation to slow down, as if I didn’t get the hint. I needed to take naps most every day for about 2 weeks. I am lucky in that my work is flexible and I was able to take the time I needed and finished my notes in the evenings. I took a break from some of the activities I am in this fall. I have a practice of grounding and getting centered. I sometimes “forget” to do it. I am doing this every day, right now. When I practice my grounding meditation, I get more into my body and therefore much more attentive and focused. I use Rescue Remedy in my water. It is a Bach Flower remedy for trauma. It works on the subtle energy levels, smoothing out the field or aura. When that is smooth and coherent, I am calmer and more focused. I also use Young Living Essential Oils (YLO) of Valor on my wrist to ground, Harmony on my solar plexus for harmony, Joy on my heart for the experience of Joy, and White Angelica on my neck and whole body to connect to the Angels, Guides and Agencies that work with me and make straight my path. You can link here http://marypat-fitzgibbons.younglivingworld.com/ for information and to purchase the oils or talk to a distributor near you.

My husband is doing the things he needs to do. He is working with an outplacement firm. He has updated his resume and is getting it out among his niche market and network. My husband has the ability to always see the positive, which has helped me over the years. The last time he was laid off, he started a newsletter to all his friends called “On the Road Again”. I do think of Willie Nelson’s song and it does seem to be our theme song this fall. My husband as friends and business contacts all over the country. He meets people and maintains contact over the years. He doesn’t burn bridges, even with past employers. You never know when you will need their contacts. He is also doing house therapy. There is nothing like removing 10 layers of paint and wall paper to clear your mind, release frustration and get the kitchen up graded and ready for sale.

I am helping him to dream the new job and living opportunity that awaits us. I don’t know what this process is going to look like. It could be long and arduous or short and sweet. I am rooting for the latter. I do know that we have a better chance to attract the dream job/live by keeping a good attitude every day. Do I slip sometimes, you bet. But I get back on track as soon as I can. I have friends that can help me, and I use them. Will this road be smooth, probably not. Life isn’t smooth. But Life Works. I trust that this will work. It will work for me and it will for you.

Blessing to us all, on this journey of life. All the fun, follies, foibles, we are getting better and better. You know the saying, “We plan, God laughs!”. I guess I need to laugh and watch the new plan unfold.

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Why Do This Blog Anyway?

Why am I doing this blog? Good question. I am stepping out into the world of the web. The information that I have can be very useful to anyone looking for better health, and spiritual development. In this blog, you will find information about good health care from a wholistic nursing point of view. You will also find information about subtle energy healing, energy fields, how to clear, and balance and ground yourself among other things. We will see what comes up. Material I put on these pages will eventually become Tip Sheets and a book. This forum is my testing ground.

About Mary Pat FitzGibbons. It’s a big topic, talking about yourself, try it sometime. The thing is, anything I say, really isn’t me, it is just an aspect of me in a particular sandbox that I have chosen to play. More about that later. Currently I am working as an RN in home care (visiting nurse) with a south central Ohio healthcare system. I have been an RN for 35 years (and LPN and nurses aid before that). My hospital experience has been primarily in CCU/ICU. I am racking up the years in home care, including home IV therapy, hospice and regular home care. I also have a number of years in supervisory and management. Also, I have company HEALTHWORKS where I have a private subtle energy healing practice. I also teach a variety of topics in subtle energy healing. The modalities that I am trained in and I use are Barbara Brennan Healing Science, Healing Touch, Usui Reiki. All my training, as needed, comes to the fore, when I am assisting a client or patient to self heal.

Self Healing…. what could that mean. All healing is self healing. When we are clear, balanced, grounded, we realize our perfect wholeness. When we are out of balance, hanging on to old stuff, angry, depressed etc. and so forth, we have forgotten our true nature, forgotten our wholeness and we experience some form of dis-ease. All healing is self healing. If one goes to a medical doctor, s/he uses medicines, therapies to help the patient return to health. If one goes to a surgeon, s/he uses the operating room as healing space to remove tumors, repair dis-eased parts, so that the patient may heal themself. A psychiatrist uses the couch and talk therapy to create a healing space so that a patient may discover who they are and heal themself. A chiropractor uses their hands or instruments to adjust the spine and create a healing space from this perspective. The body is very smart, it always strives to return to health. As an energy “healer”, I create a healing space, place my hands on the body, run universal energy to clear, balance and charge the clients energy field. Whe the energy field is holding perfection, the body can follow. The field is the pattern for the body. I also work with the client’s thoughts and emotions as they will patterns in the field that may not be condusive to joy, happiness, harmony and bliss.

The premise I opperate from is that I am 100% responsible for my life. We are all 100% responsible for the life we are experiencing at any time. This could be a little hard to swallow, without judgement, let that sit there and incubate. There could be many arguments against this premise. I have used many of them. As long as you are in blame, you can not change your life. If I choose blame, then I turf the problem and the solution to you. You can’t solve my problem for me, because it isn’t your problem. When I take responsibility, I take back the problem and I am in control of the solution.

This forum is the result of my journey, my remembering who I really am. You will get glimpse of this as I write. Feel free to use what I suggest in your own journey, what you don’t need, just leave.

I will attempt to write a weekly post (at least) on the above subjects and whatever comes to heart and mind. My prayer is that you will be empowered through reading this blog.

As always, if you need medical advice, get it. Get the information you need, do your homework and be prepared when you see the doctor or practitioner of your choosing.

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HealthWorks 1st blog

Hi, world. This is my first blog! I am a nurse healer. I have had a great journey so far and have a lot to share. My joy is to uplift you so that you see a bigger picture. When that happens, you can make better decisions, bring in more joy and happiness into your life.

Mary Pat