Yesterday I had the opportunity to practice what I preach navigating emotional marshes. We all can slide down the slippery slope of negative thinking. It is particularly true if you have had years of practice thinking about and expecting negative results. You have to be on guard. There is always a lure to stay the course of negative emotional marsh entrapment. You get some reinforcement, albeit negative.
The fact that there is some negative reinforcement to stay the course is important to know. Look for it with in you. What do you get when you sit and yak about how bad _________ (fill in the blank) this situation is (going to) turn out. Notice how you feel. See if you can figure out what you are getting out of the current arrangement.
When you are complaining to someone about how bad a situation is, you are stealing energy from them. There is a difference between complaining and a planning discussion. When we whine and complain, there is no interest in fixing the issue. Rather, we are massaging it. We would like the person we are talking to or the gods, to come in and fix it just the way we think it should be.
A planning session is very different. It is looking at an unfolding situation, taking stock, making decisions and altering the plan.
The first person is getting swamped by emotions. It is almost like quicksand. The second person sees the situation and takes action. That is not to say they didn’t have feelings about the situation. They used the feelings as a guide: “this is good-move forward” or “this is not what I want, change course.”
This is the place where you can choose a different course. You can stop the negative wheel, and you must if you want to be happy and peaceful.
Read tomorrow’s post for some ways to help quell the tidal waves of emotions.